Tuesday 30 August 2011

Incredibly Optimistic and Depressed

During last winter, which was dark and cold in the mind of Liquorice Lady, and may henceforth be called The Winter of Discontent, I was trying to work out what was wrong with me.  I was doing a little voyage of self discovery, trying to reprogramme my brain with a bit of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), trying to work out where my negative thoughts came from and how I could beat them off with a fanciful shitty stick, or such like.  Being that it was winter at the time, along came Christmas, or as it will be known from now on, Bastard Christmas.  My friend bought me a gift, which was a Mensa Personality Testing Kit.  I happily worked my way through the tests, it was a good way to distract the dog.  What I discovered was that I was EXTREMELY optimistic and motivated.
  Being very optimistic and motivated is not something that is usually associated with people who have depression.  I think this is why people are so shocked when I tell them about it, it seems at odds with my personality.  This is an important point to note about depression.  It can strike ANYONE.  You don't have to have a certain type of personality, there isn't a type of person that is more susceptible to it.  Being optimistic and motivated is definitely a help when I am trying to claw my way out of a dark episode, but not everyone has those personality traits.  It's only by chance that I have, just like it is only incidental that I got my own black dog.

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