Tuesday 30 August 2011

How Things Are Now

This is just a little bit of what's going on now, a bit of background information about me and my dog.

What CAUSED My Depression?


Who knows?  Can you pinpoint a moment where it all began?  Some people can, I might be able to but what would be the point?  This is discussed in the book How To Heal Depression by Dr Harold H. Bloomfield and Peter McWilliams (which is a good book by the way).  In summary, there is no point trying to work out where the black dog came from, who gave him to you, and what made him come.  He's here now, so you'd better work out how to get him to behave.

Am I better now?


Better, yes, but not cured.  I accept that I will never be cured.  Happily, at the moment I am feeling pretty good, but I have just come through one of the darkest winters of my life.

Is she on drugs, though?


Here we go, lets make this clear once and for all.

I AM ON ANTIDEPRESSANT MEDICATION, I HAVE BEEN ON IT FOR 13 YEARS.

I write this in capitals, because I am fed up of the stigma and controversy that surrounds antidepressants, especially the one I am on, paroxetine, which has been hung drawn and quartered by the British media.  Did you know that it causes KIDS TO COMMIT SUICIDE!!!  According to a very biased and unrepresentative episode of the BBC's Panorama, and obviously the Daily Mail and the Daily Express.  I am not here to preach about Paroxetine, but it works for me.
  The stigma of being on antidepressants appears to have lessened, but this could be because I tell less people about being on them nowadays.  When I was first on them, I was very brave and young and thought, rightly, that I had nothing to be ashamed of, so I'd happily tell all and sundry and then tolerate them telling me:-
 "You're no better than a junky, just cos your smack is legal doesn't mean you're not an addict"
 "Oh, you don't need them, just use alcohol, that's what I do" - good advice there.
 "What!  You're well fucked up!  I feel guilty about sleeping with you now" - my personal favourite.
Now I am a little older I don't feel the need to tell so many people my personal business.  Also, the people I am telling are not usually complete dicks, as I seem to surround myself with less knobs nowadays, which is a good thing, obviously.

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